Monday, July 9, 2012

the rules

A little over a year ago, I was the Maid of Honor for one of my friends.  As the hustle and bustle of the day came together, in the moments before the Bride walked down the aisle, all of the bridal entourage was holed up in some church library waiting room.  Wedding guests that were closest to the Bride took that time to sneak in for a peek, to wish her well before she made her last walk as a single lady.  One of our mutual friends came in, sang her praises, and then promptly announced that she didn't bring her date.  The bride, no joke, told our friend that she owed her $50.

That, my friends, is a wedding rule.  And a rule that most guests just don't even think about.  So I thought it would only be appropriate for me to break things down for you.  These are the wedding rules.

1. RSVP.  Accurately.  The minute that you RSVP yes, you are costing me (and my parents) money.  Don't get me wrong, I want you to be there.  What I don't want is for you to tell me that you are coming, bringing a guest, and then never bother to either adjust your count or show up.  For that, I promise that I will hunt you down and slice you.

2. Dance.  Like nobody is watching.  Have you ever been to a wedding where no one dances?  It's awkward and lame.  Get out there and bust a move. Grab my grandma, grab a flower girl, grab yourself.  Well, if you are going to grab the very least have it be well timed to a Micheal Jackson song.

3.  Eat tons of food.  Eat like a fat kid.  Eat your heart out.  Just eat it.  This is the one time where it's socially appropriate to make a glutton out of yourself.  We will agonize over the menu, just so you can take food to the face all night long.  After all, dancing is burning calories.  So you deserve it.

4. Take pictures. Pose people who don’t know each other. Have kids hug. Find people who are laughing and in love.

5.  If a loved one starts pushing bread and water in your direction, take it.  Don't sass them.  The general wedding audience will love you for it.  And you'll feel a lot better in the morning.

6. Have fun.  Be present.  Make some memories.


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