Thursday, November 15, 2012

6 haves and 6 have nots

In a study made popular by morning shows and Internet news, research suggests there are six types of friends everyone should have.   
Apparently, every group of friends needs a set of classic friend stereotypes.  You know, kind of like the token character in a movie.   Or that girl at a party.  The party or the movie just wouldn't be the same without them. 
Domonique Bertolucci, as quoted in the below Herald Sun article, says “You need different types of friends in the same way that you need food from different food groups. Different types of friends serve different purposes and nourish and enrich our lives in different ways.”
The Herald Sun outlined these types as seen below
The world changes quickly and some people are just that little bit better at keeping up with what’s hip than we are. Like those friends who know that NO ONE EVER says “hip” any more, for instance. We like to be around these people, because they’re a beacon of cool. Cool things just flock to them. These are the people who help you to open your eyes, have a flow-on effect for introducing you to other cool people and help to unstick yourself from the rut that’s all too easy to get bogged in. “These people enrich your life by exposing you to things that may have otherwise have passed you by,” says Bertolucci.
(IE: the friend who always knows what's going down on a Saturday night)
People are busy, we get it. But there’s nothing more frustrating than having to reschedule your re-re-re-scheduled catch-up. Everyone needs a friend who you can call at the drop of a hat. A friend who says “hell yeah, I’m up for that”. That’s why it’s good to have a mate who you don’t need to issue a 28-day notice to just to meet for a frappuccino. It’s refreshing (the friend, that is, not necessarily the frappuccino.) “This friend is the flexible, no frills friend who makes your life a breeze. Nothing is ever too hard and they’re open to doing new things and changing plans at short notice,” says Dr. Green. While Bertolucci agrees, “Their enthusiasm is contagious and you always have more fun when they are around.”
(IE: check your texts and your recent calls.  i bet they are all to the same person. i bet she's up for anything)
Oprah Winfrey once said: “Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher”. And we all need to live life a little bit closer to Oprah. These people challenge you to be the best version of yourself. The only downside is that sometimes they can be infuriating and inspiring in equal measure. Dr. Green’s advice: “This friend is only an important role model if they behave in ways that are authentic and genuine. They will see the best in you and give you important feedback on both your strengths and weaknesses.”
(IE: probably a work friend.  perhaps don't admit your love for keeping up with the kardashians to her)
We like integration. We like killing two birds with one stone by catching up with several groups of friends at once. But there are times when you need to make an S.O.S call to a friend who is completely uninvolved and removed from a situation who can offer objective advice so it a bonus that your friendship exists without orbiting around your other ones. “There is a level of privacy to this friendship that doesn’t exist in friendship circles,” says Bertolucci. “It will be easier to share some of your hopes and dreams, fears and concerns knowing that they are not going to be discussed when you’re not around.”
(IE: the booty call of friends)
An honest friend will not always tell you what you want to hear, but they’ll certainly tell you what you need to know like if he/she is really that into you. When you've got a crisis on your hands or need to make a quick decision they are your go-to. They’re also there to keep you away from mixing paisleys and stripes. This type of friend has the strength of “feedback” and “is a pearl who will tell it to you straight when others won’t or will sugarcoat things at the very least,” says Dr. Green. But she warns that this friend is someone who does it with good intentions and for your own benefit.
(IE: the one you love to hate)
History. Sometimes it works to your advantage, other times it doesn't  This is that friend who sees you out of the context of your job, your relationship, your other friends and your life as it is now. This is the friend who knew you when you had pimples and a bowl cut. There is something special about this person because they feel like home. It’s nice and comforting to be around someone who has known you forever. “This is a friend you never have to put on a brave face for,” says Bertolucci. “They know you better than you know yourself and accept you unconditionally.”
(IE: your kindred spirit, she'll just get it)

But doesn't that just seem like half of the story?  I mean, we've all seen mean girls, amiright? You certainly can't get to close to your 30's without figuring out what friends you need...and what friends you don't.  So it's only fair that we also talk about the 6 friends that you don't need.  And seriously-my mom should have taught me this in high school. 
1. friends that tag unflattering pictures of you on facebook.  on purpose.  out of spite. and derives secret happiness from it.  seriously?  that's why they invented cropping, whore. 
2. the friend that is a) in a toxic relationship b) blind to it's toxic-ness and c) yet always whining about how unhappy she is. no one needs a man that bad. 
3.  the debby downer friend.  whomp whomp whomp.  no one likes a negative nancy either. 
4. the bailing friend.  you know, the one that always runs late and is forever cancelling her plans with you.
5. the friend that always talks & never listens. she probably never returns your calls either. 
6. the friend that stole your man.  burn her at the stake. 
here's to friends-the good ones. 

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