Monday, March 19, 2012

and these are my confessions

If I was on the Real World, I'd be all up in that confessional room.  24/7.  Pouring out my heart and soul.  Not givin an f if some other hoodrat needed to confess their sins.  I'D RUN THAT ROOM.

Since I'm probably too old for the Real World, I decided that I can run this blog.  I'm grown after all and I do what I want.  Now listen to some Ursher and enjoy my confessions.

1. I like tanning beds.  I don't care that they are frying my body from the outside in.  I don't care  about all the GTL haters.   I used to be in a sorority, I'm proud of it, and I like to sometimes be freakishly tan even if it's not seasonally appropriate.
2. I slept with a stuffed animal until I met the boy.  Now, said stuffed animal just sits on a shelf in my closet.  And if I think about that fact too much, I get a little teary eyed for that poor sweet bunny. Need I remind you that I'm grown?
3. In high school, I was an innocent bystander in a moving vehicle.  A friend was attempting to park and totes mcgotes side swiped the sweet baby jesus out of another car.  We drove away.
4. Also, in high school, I ran over a cat.  It was late at night, I was driving home, and the sweet little thing came out of nowhere.  I cried for hours.  Apparently myself (and any of my friends) should not have been given driver's licenses.
5. I am scared of balloons.  I don't know if scared is the correct term.  I fear balloons.  I am a balloon-aphobe. True Story: I was once in a restaurant where a man was making balloon animals and I had to leave.  When I am around balloons, I just start sweating and I get super anxious.  LIKE OH MY GAWD THEY ARE GOING TO POP freaking out.  And don't even get me started about when I see people just letting their babies gnaw all over balloons.  Because that's real safe.  Jeez Louise.
6. I find extremely unfortunate events hilarious.  Ever seen  That was my jam.  I am aware that I may have no soul.
7.  I want to adopt a baby.  Preferably a little black baby, but the boy has yet to give into that one.
8. If your toilet paper roll is on the wrong way, I'll fix it.  I don't care if it's your house.  I don't care if it's your Mom's house.  Toilet paper should roll out and not in.  It should probably just be a law.  I'd vote for a president based on his thoughts on toilet paper alone.  It's that big of a deal.

After writing all this, I have realized that I am very weird.  Please say you'll still be my friend.


Got some time on your hands.  Hop on over to MODG, get yo stalk on all up in thurr, and then check out the goodness that inspired this post, her "confessions fridays."

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