Here are some examples.
Excerpt One: My sweats.
I sweat an embarrassing amount, both in real life and even more so in my gym life. Sometimes I’ll get done with a workout and look at myself and be like, “What happened to you? Where have you been, and why do you look like you’ve been attacked by a hose used to put out fires?” Luckily, gyms provide you with the perfect means to hide your sweat – namely towels, and lots of them. Towels allow you to turn your disgusting sweatiness into a beautiful and unique towel dress, pantsuit, blouse or head wrap, and free you to parade around the gym displaying your design with confidence.
Found via HelloGiggles. Any one who is unfamiliar with my very classy sweating habits, let me break it down for you. One morning, I walked my dogs. It was a summer morning and it was hot, okay? When I returned, I was greeted by my FMIL. She just looked at me and said, "..You sweat a lot, huh?"
Excerpt Two: My dogs.
Naturally, my friends usually think my fear is hilarious. I once made the mistake of telling some coworkers about it, and they preceded to hide balloons around the store for me to find. (The one in my purse was a clever move, but I almost left work early because it made me so angry. Especially when it popped in my face.)