Wednesday, April 25, 2012


Newsflash.  I'm getting married.  In 170 days.  Thank you igoogle countdown calendar.

Now, the boy and I have been pretty much breaking tradition since day 1.  Our first date involved skee-ball.  We live in sin.  We've had an engagement that's gone on for years.

And when it came to start planning a wedding, we knew that it couldn't be ordinary. We have a cash money registry.  We won't be getting married in a church.  This wedding will just be "us" embodied in an event form-not some Martha Stewart cookie-cutter affair.

Sure, we've had to deviate a little.  After all, this wedding started out as a glorious vision, an intimate affair of 60 or so guests....that quickly morphed into an all out shindig with a guest list pushing 160.  But at the end of that glorious night, our guests will leave and talk about the moments in which they saw a little piece of us.  Maybe they will see Adam's genius in the food, maybe they'll see my love for 90s R&B slow jamz in the playlist, or maybe they'll just walk away knowing us a little better.

And since we are throwing all things traditional out of the window, we've decided to write our own vows.  I was originally going to write some vow inspiration here, but then I remembered that the boy actually (occasionally) reads this here bad boy.  And there's just no sense in spilling the beans on a blog.

So back to the wedding.  And breaking traditions.  I will be the first one to admit that I hate making decisions.  I may not always know what I like or what I want.  But regarding this wedding, and making it all about us, I definitely know the things that I don't want.  In true list fashion, here's a few things that you just won't see at my wedding...

A bride loaded up on muscle relaxers.  {Sixteen Candles}

A pre-wedding family sing-along {My best friend's wedding}

Or a reference to "kissing the first mate" {wedding crashers}

Don't even bother requesting it, because there will be no electric sliding.  {or macarenda'ing, cha-cha sliding, or cupid shuffling.} 

Sorry single ladies, there will be no bouquet tossing.  I'm paying good money for mine and I want to keep it forever.  Besides, catching the bouquet at a wedding is the equivalent of catching the bubonic plauge.  No groomsmen wants to bang a wedding guest with wedding fever.  That's a just a recipe for a stage 5 clinger.  And while we are at it, no one is catching my garter either.  My undpants are for me and the boy alone. 

All these videos are making this post quite the ridiculous length.  Let's cut to the chase with a speed round version of other things you won't see at my wedding: a cake (other desserts are way better), canned beer (it instantly bumps up your white trash factor), and me wearing a veil over my face (what is this, 1950?).


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