When I was about four years old, my parents ruined my life forever by bringing another baby into the mix. I was a dream baby, never cried, never fussed. It came as no surprise that my brother started wrecking shop the very minute he exited the womb.
Flash forward about five years. Imagine yourself as eight year old Jen Baldinelli, taking a sweet Sunday afternoon nap on the couch. Even as a youngin, I loved myself some naps. Unbenounced to me, my hellion of a little brother was scheming as I lay dreaming. He had some sort of blunt object in his hands and was waiting for the right moment to smack me on the back of the head with it. As he neared me, his conscious kicked in. He realized that if he hit me, he'd have a consequence. And that consequence wouldn't be our momma taking away something he didn't like. You know, angry momma's don't just throw away their children's broccoli eating privileges. Oh no, she'd take away something good. He'd surely be without TV or games for at least a week. He dropped his weapon of mass destruction and went off to find my mother, so that he could tell her all about his moment of clarity.
Consequences are always there. You can't escape them. And my consequence after this week's earlier post is that the boy thinks I'm what lifetime movies are made of. He's convinced that one day he's going to come home from work to find me laughing and crying, bent over the toilet, flushing my birth control pills down the drain. But I know what the consequence of that crazy-like-adele-choice would be...I'd just be a preggo girl in a white wedding dress. And who wants to look at that? Yes, I want babies....at some point. And I'm fine with just holding the ones that belong to my friends until we reach that point. After all, I get to give them back at the end of the day....and still get my 8 hours of sleep each night.
Moving on....here's some of the best of the best from the interwebz this week.
1. I think I've found my wedding singer.
2. Bueller? Bueller?
3. After TWELVE long years, Ben Folds Five is reunited.
5. Great, now I have to sneak a dino into my save the dates, too.
6. Men of the world, allow me to introduce you to Dress Pants Sweatpants.
7. I must now win the lottery so I can buy every single piece in JCrew's Spring 2012 Line. Also, sequins are baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack. Jazz hands.